WORDS OF WISDOM AS ONLY WOODY KNOWS HOW...

Sex alleviates tension and love causes it.

SAY WHAT... ?!

These are 'real', although obscure, rarely used and mostly forgotten words from the English language...

DIBBLE - To drink like a duck, lifting up the head after each sip.

EYESERVICE - Work done only when the boss is watching.

LIBBERWORT - Food or drink that makes one idle and stupid. Food of no nutritional value; junk food.

CHANTEPLEURE - To sing and weep at the same time.

MEUPAREUNIA - A sexual act gratifying to only one participant.

So... this morning I couldn't help but dibble my coffee followed by some eyeservice. For lunch I will libberwort and this will lead me to chantepleure, and finally when I get home I will engage in meupareunia either with someone, or if need be on my own!

TAKE A TRIP WITH CHARLIE ON BEHALF OF ME!

IF YOU REALLY LOVE ME...

Love me tender
Love me sweet
Love me truly
Let me sleep

MY TOP SIX MALE DINNER GUESTS... IF ONLY!

Al Pacino - for his experience, hypnotic voice, and penetrating eyes

Colin Farrell - for his Irish conversation, humour and smile


Leonard Cohen - for his wisdom, words and song

Johnny Depp - for his gypsy laid back wildness


Robin Williams - for his observation, wit and stories

Keith Richards - for just staying alive

My concern for the youth of today: What does it mean to be famous?

In today’s world, particularly within our younger generation, it really does seem as if anyone can become famous, and I can’t help thinking Andy Warhol and his ‘15 minutes of the visionary future’ is surely coming back to haunt us.

Let’s start with reality television shows which encourages them and us, and proceeds to bombard the viewer with sometimes genuine potential, but equally potential useless talent, creating a voyeuristic, judge and jury mass of couch potatoes up and down every household in the world. And so what of the lucky contender/s whom eventually do win the show; are they now famous... and for how long?

Next glamour models, and footballers wives, and anybody’s girlfriend of anyone whose ever been photographed. Every day we are invited to gaze and yearn for the clothes they wear, buy the perfume they endorse, find out where they hang out, and who they are friends with… so are they famous, and if so exactly what for?

How about the music industry: all the singers, and bands; are they the real deal in terms of being famous? At least we know why they are on our radio, and played over and over on MTV.

And then of course there’s Hollywood... every actor, or actress who has ever appeared on film; now they must be ‘proper’ famous people... right?

Or are we advertising a world to our children that is becoming increasingly confused as to the difference between famous and celebrity? As adults, most of us do, or should know the actual reality is not about being famous or a celebrity, but the 'quality' of your fame that determines your status? See Andy was right!

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against people seeking, or being famous, but it’s the level of fame that is beginning to annoy me. I want famous people to make me happy, take my mind off things, entertain me, inspire me, etc. However, I don’t want fame becoming almost a career option children of today think is quickly attainable, you can do ‘anything’ to get it, and it‘s an easy way to make money and get your face in the papers.

Some of you may read this and think; hang on… this woman writes a blog on Colin Farrell and yet here she is sounding off about people taking fame to the extreme?! (I'm guessing my daughter probably will). And so the answer to that is: maybe you're right? Maybe I too am being taken in by the whole fame game? Just because I consider him ’a famous person with talent’, and I believe this has been proven by his continued status within Hollywood... doesn't necessarily mean I've not succumbed to the world of fame and all it's starry-eyed dreams and riches... just that I've perhaps not realised?!

After all who am I to decide who should be considered a ’better’ or more ‘suitable’ class of a famous person than another? I cannot have the right over what anybody else thinks, or chooses to do, or say, or admire, but can I not have the right as a human being to express my opinion... even if it is only to myself?!

Oh... I feel so much better now ; - )

WRITTEN ON BEHALF OF EVERY MOTHER WHOM DREADS THE DAY THEIR CHILD COMES HOME AND SAY'S: "I'VE DECIDED I WANT TO BE FAMOUS"!!!!!!!!!

ME, MYSELF & I

If someone suffered from a multiple personality disorder and they threaten to kill themselves... would this be considered a hostage situation?

ONE OF MY FAVOURITE SONGS

HELP... CAN'T SLEEP SYNDROME!!!!!!!!!!!

I can’t sleep, and I’m so annoyed! I hate it when this happens. I‘m not an insomniac; oh believe me you can trust me on that one! If anything I am quite the opposite. I can easily, and often do sleep for hours and hours at a time. But in fairness this is not just because I am a totally lazy mere mortal who cannot be bothered to do anything… well not all the time anyway. I suffer from an illness that requires medication and the less said about that the better, and you can trust me on that too - honest!

Now I can hear every single noise that I don’t want to, and even worse ones that probably don’t really exist except in my over-imaginative, and over-tired mind. My cat is freaking me out too, as she can’t settle. It’s a nightmare, we’re both tired - remember cats can always sleep, so like I said… freaking me out!

Right this minute, I‘m so tired, my eyes feel like spacers, they almost ache, and yet no sleep is releasing me from my red-eyed lap-top screen. I can’t stop smoking one cigarette after another, I feel like I’m giving Keith Richards a run for his money, in fact I’ll probably look like him later this morning!

Isn’t it funny when you’re a small child how you don’t have real concept of the meaning or action of not being able to sleep. You go about your very busy business of going to school during the day, and then the important ritual of playing after school followed perhaps with some television, maybe a bath, a fairy-tale story, and finally sleepy slumber… simple. People who stay awake all night are people such as those who work in a hospital, or within the police, or a security night-guard and of course Santa once a year.

So what do people do when they can’t sleep? Read a book, listen to the radio (quietly), meditate, or like me decide to write about it - like that’s really going to help?

Actually….

ZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

HERE'S A LITTLE TONGUE TWISTER TO TRY... EVEN MORE FUN IF SAID WHEN DRUNK!

I'm not the pheasant plucker,
I'm the pheasant plucker's mate.
I'm only plucking pheasants
'Cause the pheasant plucker's late.

A MAD, MAD MOMENT OF MAD PONDERING!

If nobody ever experienced jealously... would anybody ever need to be competitive?

KNOWING YOUR PLACE....

To the crazy; normal is insane
To the rich; poor is irrelevant
To the famous; life is recognition
For the likes of you and me...
we're somewhere in-between!

STAY SAFE FROM DEPRESSION...

Most depression is only anger - most anger, fear.

So does that mean if we fear anger - we will mostly be depressed, or, if we feel anger, we will feel fear - and this will most likely lead to us to depression?

Or, maybe - if we are suffering depression, we will no longer care whether we feel anger, and so therefore we have no need to fear anything because we are already too busy being depressed!?

Clearly Teddy has found his own way of dealing with depression!

MY DAUGHTER INTRODUCED ME TO THIS VIDEO & I'M SORRY BUT CLEARLY WE SHARE THE SAME WARPED SENSE OF HUMOUR... I LOVE IT!!!

ARE YOU ASSERTIVE ENOUGH TO SAY NO?!

More wonderfully non-useful advice given out to 'real' people from those whom have studied much, achieved many qualifications to prove so, and are allowed letters after their name. That's right... it's counselling time from the professionals.

Step One:
Start your response with the word "no". If not, you may end saying "yes", or "maybe", or "perhaps".

Step Two:
Speak in a firm, clear voice.

Step Three:
Don't apologise, qualify or be defensive about saying "no". Avoid excuses and long explanations.

Remember: You have the right to say "no".

Or alternatively....

Step One:
Do not start your response with the word "no". If not, you may end saying "OMG", or "s***", or "f***".

Step Two:
Speak in a polite, clear voice.

Step Three:
Do apologise, qualify or be defensive about saying "no". Do not avoid excuses and long explanations.

Remember: We are in a world recession!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LET'S TELL IT HOW IT IS... ?

What does the word 'compelled' mean to you?

For me, 'compelled' means having to do something that I feel is so right within the limits of my own judgement, and my world, that therefore, I ultimately feel I have no other option other than to reveal such... one way, or another?!

DOCTOR ALWAYS KNOWS BEST...

Dr. Ann McGee-Cooper once said:

"If we learn to balance excellence in work with excellence in play, fun, and relaxation, our lives become happier, healthier, and a great deal more creative".

... but what if you're not of an excellent standard to begin with?!

HOW TRUE DO YOU BELIEVE THIS SAYING IS?

"If we respect ourselves, others will respond accordingly by respecting us"

DOES THIS SENTENCE MEAN YOU ARE NOT THINKING INDEPENDENTLY?

"You trust your own experience: you don’t need numbers or generalisations to back you up".

According to a paper by a Counselling Group, and I quote... this sentence may seem like you are thinking independently, but in fact, it’s very likely that you’ve interpreted your experience in line with unexamined conventions.

I personally think this is a very misleading piece of text, and not remotely helpful in any way to anyone, because there are just too many ways of viewing the context.

1)
If you are confident on your subject matter then surely you would already know the ‘numbers and generalisations’. So by trusting your own experience does this not mean you must be confident in your understanding of the subject matter to begin with?

… you’ve interpreted your experience in line with unexamined conventions.

2)
Interpret means to understand, or make sense of something doesn’t it? So why would you attempt to trust you own experience with something you did not understand, or that did make sense to you in the first place?

3)
Unexamined means you’ve not examined your subject, so how would you be confident enough to even try and pretend otherwise, and my understanding of conventions within this particularly text is I can only assume relates to a set of generally accepted standards.

In my experience I often find that those in the business of trying to help others with their problems etc, always try to impose the opposite meaning to anything: in other words they turn everything around. I don’t really see how this ever really simplifies a problem, but I can definitely see how it nearly always manges to complicate one!

Or maybe it‘s just me being wickedly narcissistic!


I'd be really interested to see what anyone else thinks ; - )

WHY DON'T CATS SUFFER FROM INSOMNIA?

My beautiful cat Ellie McNelly... doing what she does best!

REAL OR NOT?

If the opposite of fantasy is reality, can we really say for certain that fantasy is unreal? If so this would imply that it does not exist.

So now tell me... do you know of anyone who has never had a fantasy?

SIGN POST MADNESS!

Even more worrying if you have a red car!

Good to see someone has a dry sense of humour!

I wonder which disciple was the chosen one?!

WHAT'S THE MEANING?

I read this quote today by T. S. Eliot:

"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go"

And well... it got me intrigued, which isn’t hard I suppose considering I'm Gemini! But I couldn't help but think how wonderfully simple, and yet complex these few words truly are, and indeed just how far reaching the meaning of these seemingly plain words can actually be for so many people, in so many circumstances, and in so many ways.

The way any one individual may chose to interrupt such a quote is directly down to their own conscious sphere of translation accordingly, and so of course this can be in a good, or bad way.

So are ‘quotes’ just another way of proposing an open question… can there never be a right, or wrong answer, if no-one can all agree at the same time on a definite and final conclusion?

If you have any thoughts and feelings about my deliberating and pondering moment, please post me your comments ; - )